Facing and letting go...
Today was a day where, as always, I find myself with the same old problem, emotional dependence, and even though I know that this person doesn't do me any good, nor is he the one who deserves me, I'm still there as if I were begging for a little of his affection, something that he will never give me. And I've been repeating the same pattern for a long time, and it's exhausting to have to face the same thing over and over again, apart from being painful because I know he's not the right person, but in my eagerness to not be alone, I run after him in search of a little of his attention, as if I didn't deserve more and better, as if I didn't deserve a person who sees how valuable I am, of course, first I have to do it for myself so that someone else can appreciate it, but sometimes it's so difficult and even more so having him as a "patch" plan as they say here, sometimes that's cool, and sometimes it's not. Today he told me that we couldn't see each other anymore for this year. I thanked the universe for getting rid of him, because apart from the fact that he doesn't do me any good and I don't really like sex, well, it's better for me, and when I think about getting back together, it's not going to be possible, because I'm not going to open this door again, neither for him nor for anyone else who comes along with that plan. I'm tired, I can't take it anymore! I've learned my lesson and I'm "integrating the shadow," which is to prioritize myself and all my affairs, make a life for myself and "get into it headfirst," concentrate, focus, love myself as the beautiful being that I am, and show it to myself every day, every second, says Walter Riso, "without reaching egotism."
I've had so many things on my mind this week, that letting myself get down and lose focus of my objectives, because of that guy, stresses me out, because he's not worth it or anything. So I have to get back to my focus, solve my economic problems and give myself the life I deserve. And I hope that everything that is happening worldwide will be resolved soon and we can be well and better than we ever were.
I still have a lot to tell, but for now I will leave it here. I hope you are well, take care, hugs...